Healthy relationships have elements in common. There are common themes related to intimacy (sharing, connectedness, bonding), a sense of self for each person, fun, boundaries, and a constructive way to solve issues. Below is a list of 20 characteristics of a healthy relationship. See how your relationship measures up. What are areas to be addressed or improved?
- 1. Each person in the relationship has a separate identity--each can give and receive without losing separateness.
- 2. Each is able to talk openly about matters of significance.
- 3. Each assumes personal responsibility for his or her level of happiness and doesn't blame the other for unhappiness.
- 4. The couple are able to play together.
- 5. The couple are able to fight constructively.
- 6. Each makes some attempt to keep romance in the relationship.
- 7. Each considers the other an equal.
- 8. Each actively demonstrates concern for the other.
- 9. Each person is growing, changing, and open to new experiences.
- 10. Each person is able to find meaning outside of the relationship.
- 11. Each avoids manipulating the other.
- 12. Each recognizes the need for solitude and space.
- 13. Each avoids assuming an attitude of ownership toward the other.
- 14. Each shows flexibility in role behavior.
- 15. Neither expects the other to do for them what they are able to do for themselves. 16. Each discloses inner feelings and thoughts to the other.
- 17. Each allows the other a sense of privacy.
- 18. Each has a desire to give to the other.
- 19. Each encourages the other to become all he or she is capable of becoming.
- 20. Each has a commitment to the other.
Source: Corey, G. & Gorey, M.S. (1990). I Never Knew I Had a Choice (4th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks Cole.