1. What is couple's therapy, and how can it help my relationship?

Couples therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on the couple as a unit, examining the dynamics and patterns they have co-created. Instead of looking for an "identified patient," the therapist approaches the couple's concerns from a systemic lens. This requires special training and extensive practice to be effective. Therapists and counselors must complete years of externship, with couples therapists required to do the majority of their supervised hours with couples, as the work is significantly different from individual therapy. Couples therapy aims to highlight, interrupt, and change ineffective dynamics in the relationship. This can help to heal relationship wounds and traumas, as well as teach best practices for healthy relationships, if necessary. By examining the patterns and behaviors that contribute to issues in the relationship, couples therapy can help identify and work through underlying conflicts and improve communication, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction.

2. How do I know if my partner and I need marriage therapy?

The best practice advice is to seek professional help from an experienced and effective couples counselor sooner rather than later. Experienced relationship experts often see couples who wait too long to seek help, and by that point, it can be much more challenging to repair the relationship.If you've been contending with an issue for three months that you haven't been able to resolve on your own, it's time to seek couples therapy. Waiting too long can cause the issue to become deeply ingrained in the relationship, making it even harder to address.

It's also a good idea to seek couples therapy if you don't have healthy conflict in your relationship. Conflict is an essential skill for a relationship to last and be healthy. Without healthy conflict, issues can go unresolved, leading to resentment and a breakdown in communication. A skilled couples therapist can help you and your partner learn healthy conflict resolution skills and communication techniques to build a stronger, more resilient relationship.

Don't wait until it's too late. Seeking help from an experienced and effective couples counselor can help you and your partner work through issues and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

3. How long does marriage therapy take, and how often will we need to attend sessions?

You may be wondering how long marriage therapy takes and how often you'll need to attend sessions. According to research, 12-20 sessions are typically needed to see significant improvements in a relationship. However, in my experience as a couples therapist, many clients experience relief of symptoms and significant improvements in their relationship in just 10-12 sessions. It's important to keep in mind that the length of treatment can vary depending on the concerns and goals of the couple, as well as individual factors specific to each person in the relationship. During your initial sessions, we'll work together to create a personalized treatment plan tailored to your unique needs and goals as a couple.

As for session frequency, it's generally recommended that couples attend weekly sessions to maintain momentum and see the best results. However, again, this can vary depending on the needs and goals of the couple. We'll work together to determine a session schedule that works best for you and your partner.

Remember, investing in your relationship through couples therapy is an important step toward building a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. I look forward to working with you and your partner to help you achieve your goals and build the relationship you deserve.

4. Will we be seen together or separately during couples therapy treatment?

Typically I see the couple together for the first session. This allows me to hear both of your points of view, learn about your relationship challenges, and understand your goals for our work together.

After the first session, I'll see each of you individually for one session. During these sessions, we'll discuss your personal histories, family dynamics, and any concerns you may have. This information is valuable in helping me gain a deeper understanding of each individual in the relationship and how their experiences may be impacting the relationship as a whole.

Following the assessment sessions, the majority of our sessions will be together as a couple. This allows us to work on the dynamics and patterns that may be contributing to your relationship challenges. Occasionally, I may meet with one member of the couple to address individual issues, but only with the understanding from both parties that I am the couples' therapist and will not take sides or act as anyone's individual therapist.

I believe that by working together as a couple, we can identify patterns that may be contributing to relationship challenges and develop strategies to help you build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. I look forward to working with you and your partner to achieve your goals and create a happier, healthier relationship.

5. What can we expect during our first marriage and family therapy session?

I understand that the first session of marriage and family therapy can be daunting, but it's an essential step towards building a healthier and happier relationship. During our first session together, my goal is to create a safe and supportive space where both partners feel heard and understood.

I'll begin by asking about what led you to seek couples counseling and whether there was a specific event or dynamic that prompted this decision. From there, I'll ask more detailed questions6%  to gain a deeper understanding of your concerns and experiences. This may include questions about how you manage conflict and what that looks like in your relationship.

In addition to discussing your concerns, I'll also ask about your best hopes for the therapy process. What are you hoping to achieve at the end of treatment? By understanding your goals and expectations, I can tailor our treatment plan to best meet your unique needs.

Ultimately, my goal during our first session is to establish a positive working rapport with both partners and create a roadmap for our future sessions. I believe that by working together and addressing concerns head-on, we can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship

6. How do we choose the right marriage and family therapist for us?

Choosing the right couples therapist is crucial for the success of therapy. It is important to find a therapist who has extensive experience and training in couples therapy, as this type of therapy requires a unique set of skills. Look for a therapist who specializes in couples therapy and has a track record of helping couples achieve their goals. Also, choose a therapist whose approach resonates with you and your partner, and who you feel comfortable working with. A good couples therapist should be empathetic, compassionate, and non-judgmental, and should create a safe and supportive space for both partners to share their thoughts and feelings. Remember, the therapist you choose can have a significant impact on the outcome of therapy, so take the time to find the right fit for you and your partner. I offer a free phone consultation so you can get a better feel for my thought process and approach. Feel free to reach out to schedule your consultation.

7. What is the success rate of marriage therapy?

Great question! At the heart of couples therapy is the goal of improving the health and happiness of relationships. While every case is unique, studies have shown that couples therapy can be highly effective in improving relationship satisfaction and reducing conflict. As a therapist, my aim is to help couples work through their challenges and achieve their goals. In my experience, 96% of my couples clients have reported increased satisfaction in their relationships after completing treatment in 2022. However, the success of couples therapy ultimately depends on the couple's willingness to make time for sessions, invest in their relationship, and engage fully in the therapeutic process. If you'd like to learn more about my approach to couples therapy and success rates, feel free to check out my blog or schedule a consultation.

8. Can marriage therapy help us if we are already separated?

Absolutely! Separation doesn't necessarily mean the end of a relationship. It can often be a sign that the relationship needs help. As a skilled couples therapist, I've worked with many couples who have already separated, and I've seen firsthand how effective therapy can be in helping them repair and rebuild their relationship. Often, couples reach a point where they feel hopeless and unable to move forward on their own, but with the guidance and support of an experienced therapist, they can make progress and find a path forward together. Of course, success depends on both parties being committed to the process, but I believe that with a willingness to work on the relationship, anything is possible. 

9. What if my partner doesn't want to attend couples therapy?

It's not uncommon for one partner to be hesitant or resistant to therapy. I encourage both partners to attend sessions together, but I am also happy to work with individuals who are interested in improving their relationship, even if their partner is not ready to attend therapy. I've had many experiences where one partner starts the work and the other joins soon after. 

10. What types of issues can couples therapy address?

Couples therapy can address a wide range of issues, including communication problems, infidelity, sexual issues, conflicts around parenting, in-laws, financial issues, and more.

11. What is the cost of couples therapy and do you accept insurance?

As a couples therapist, I understand that the cost of therapy can be a concern for many clients. But when it comes to your relationship, investing in therapy is an investment in your future. Here's what you can expect in terms of cost and insurance:

Your initial or intake session will be 50-55 minutes long and cost $225. Subsequent sessions are $210 and 50 minutes long. While I do not accept insurance directly, I do provide a receipt (also known as a superbill) that you can submit to your insurance company for a partial or full reimbursement, depending on your insurance benefits. I even provide an app called Reimbursify, at no cost to you, to help you file your claims smoothly and efficiently--no more sending in paper claims via snail mail.

While it's true that most experienced couples therapists do not take insurance, this is because the insurance model does not align with the unique needs of couples therapy. Insurance requirements designate one member of the couple as the "identified patient," which can actually undermine the systemic approach to couples therapy that is foundational to the work. Furthermore, therapists are required to diagnose one member of the couple, or insurance will not pay the claim. This can be counterproductive, as the focus of couples therapy is on the dynamics and interactions between both partners, not on one individual's symptoms. And if the therapist is not treating the individual diagnosis that is being claimed, this could be a huge liability as well as an ethical issue. Health insurance is best used in individual therapy, if individual therapy is indicated. By not contracting with insurance companies, couples therapists can provide care for both partners in the relationship without being restricted by insurance limitations. This allows the therapist to provide the best possible care for the couple and leads to more positive outcomes in the relationship.

But don't worry--even without insurance, investing in couples therapy is worth it. Think about it: what is the cost of not investing in your relationship? The cost of a failed marriage, a fractured family, and the emotional toll it can take on everyone involved is far greater than the cost of therapy. Heck, ONE retainer for a divorce attorney is more than you'll likely spend with me in therapy (my average couple sees relief in 10-12 sessions). 

I hope this information has been helpful in addressing your concerns about cost and insurance. Remember, investing in your relationship is an investment in your future, and I am here to support you every step of the way.