Many therapists, including me, have experienced an increase in clients seeking therapy services to contend with existential anxiety. Existential anxiety is the anxiety of being human. What I mean by this is existential anxiety is the anxiety that comes with uncertainty in life. Global warming, war, pandemic, mortality, retirement, the stock market, are a few of the existential anxieties that clients are struggling with lately. While it is normal to have this sort of anxiety, when it is not in check, it tends to stifle, paralyze, and make daily life more difficult. While I may not be thinking about a far-flung war at any moment, it is like I'm carrying around a half cup full of unresolved anxiety. So when the daily challenges of life happen: the kids are wild after work, my husband didn't text per his usual pattern, my car battery is dead when I go to start it, I have less patience to deal with the anxious moments that life gives all of us. The less existential anxiety we have, the more we can handle the other anxieties we have (chronic - anxiety that deals with our relationships; acute - the "shit happens" anxiety like having a flat, getting a notice from the IRS, having to call plumber, getting another call from your child's school about behavior, etc.).
One way to deal with existential anxiety is to list what I can control. Using war as an example, I can control how much news I watch. Do I find myself watching it for hours, long after stories have repeated? Am I watching it on the weekends, when I could be doing things I enjoy or just resting? I can control this. When I think about how I feel after I binge watch the news, is it good? Most likely it's not, so I can do something about that. I can also control if I get involved. How can I volunteer? Can I donate? Getting involved lessens the feelings of helplessness. I am taking control of what I can. It may also be helpful to consider what I can't control and use a mantra to let those things go. Ruminating or swimming in anxiety doesn't help a thing. Becoming more conscious of my thought process is key; working to change it or redirect is the work.
Sometimes our anxiety can highlight a direction or area we could learn more about. If I have anxiety about how the stock market will impact my retirement and if I will be okay when that time comes, then maybe I need to reach out to an expert, interview advisors or learn more about the topic. Humans don't like uncertainty, and the more I know, the more I understand what I can control, what I can't, and how to mitigate that. I can then make choices and let go where I can't control a situation.
We can never have enough knowledge, money, support to protect us from all of the challenges of life. Life is an experiment for each of us with no guarantees. We are each in control of our life experiment. Taking small steps to manage existential anxiety allows you to contend with it rather than become overwhelmed by it. The less existential anxiety you have, the more capable you will be to handle other anxiety that crops up, say from your relationships, your work, a freaky winter storm, etc.
Working with a therapist is a great way to learn about your anxiety as it presents differently for each of us. In this work, you will learn how to identify it and apply strategies that work best with the way your anxiety presents. I wholeheartedly believe this is the very best gift you can give yourself because it impacts your life, your relationships, and your experiences so profoundly, every single day. Even if you do not have an anxiety disorder, you can still be experiencing distress from anxiety. Therapy is a wonderful way to change this.
About the therapist: Dr. Melissa Hudson, LMFT-S has been a Plano couple's counselor and licensed marriage and family therapist since 2012. She offices near the Shops of Legacy in West Plano conveniently located to serve the communities of The Colony, McKinney, Allen, Richardson, and Frisco as well as offering statewide services via Telehealth. A relationship expert, Dr. Hudson also specializes in working with those contending with depression and anxiety as well as a wide spectrum of other psychological concerns you can learn about here.