Why Good Men Are Getting Left Behind

Men, It’s Time to Rise: The Skills Deficit That's Costing You Love and Longevity

The Wall Street Journal recently published an article titled “American Women Are Giving Up on Marriage” (March 21, 2025), highlighting a quiet revolution that should make many men pause and take stock.

Recent data shows that over half of American women ages 18 to 40 are now single — and many are choosing to stay that way. Not because they’ve given up on love, but because they’re no longer willing to settle for relational dynamics that leave them drained, unsupported, or doing the lion’s share of the emotional and domestic labor.

And honestly? They’re right.

Women are waking up to what research has told us all along: the single most important factor in a happy, healthy life is the quality of our closest relationships. Not wealth. Not career success. Not six-pack abs or status symbols.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development — an 84-year-long study tracking health, happiness, and longevity — found that it’s warm, emotionally safe relationships that protect us. They regulate our stress, strengthen our immune systems, and extend our lives. People in healthy, secure partnerships live longer. Period.

But here’s the catch: good relationships don’t just happen. They require skills — and right now, there’s a glaring skills gap that men, collectively, need to address.

The Hard Truth: Many Men Lack the Skills for Healthy, Modern Relationships

This is not about men being “bad” or “unworthy.” It’s about what many of you were never taught.

Emotional regulation. Conflict repair. Relational attunement. Domestic partnership — not just helping, but fully sharing the load. These aren’t optional skills. They are the very foundation of a secure, lasting relationship.

Yet, too many men arrive in therapy or relationships expecting connection without developing these muscles. They avoid hard conversations, shut down or lash out during conflict, and assume domestic labor is "extra" instead of part of the job description.

Meanwhile, women are exhausted — and they’re finished begging.

The Rise of Single Women Is Not a Rejection of Love — It’s a Demand for Better

Women still want partnership. But not if it costs them their mental health, autonomy, or peace.

They’re investing in their education, building careers, raising children — often while carrying the emotional weight of the household. And many are asking: Why should I add “teaching a grown man basic relational skills” to that list?

The message is clear: Rise, or be left behind.

This Is a Call-In, Not a Call-Out

If you’re a man reading this and feeling defensive — pause. You weren’t supposed to know this already. Most of you weren’t raised in homes where emotional literacy was modeled by men. Vulnerability was likely treated as weakness, and domestic work as "women's work."

But none of that means you get to opt out now. The cost is too high — not just for your partner, but for you.

Because here’s the other truth the Harvard study makes undeniable: If you don’t learn these skills, you will pay the price. In your health. In your mental well-being. In loneliness that science equates with smoking a pack a day.