We're married, I don't want to date my spouse. Is that how you feel? Think again! It's best to never stop dating each other. Fun is a priority while dating, but play is really important in marriages and families, too. Yeah, seems obvious but often married people stop playing together and having fun. This is a mistake, and fun is more than just fun. It helps to infuse novelty, to stay actively engaged with each other, to ward off anxiety (think about it...you can't be anxious while having fun, a natural antidote), to continue learning about each other. You will never "get to the end of the Internet" in your marriage...there is always more to learn about your spouse.
Check out the DFW date idea list. I hope it inspires you to create your own that suits your interests. It's nice to have a list handy to avoid the, "What do you want to do?" "I don't know. What do you want to do?" conversation that happens so often between couples.
1. Nasher Sculpture Center
2. The Dallas Arboretum
3. Pocket Sandwich Theatre performance
4. Comedy clubs
5. Couples massage
6. Movie and dinner at Alamo, Angelika, etc.
7. The 6th Floor Museum
8. 1st Monday in Canton
9. A professional sports event
10. iFly in Frisco
11. Holiday events (Trains at Northpark, lights in Highland Park, ice skating at the Galleria, ICE at Gaylord, many options)
12. Paint With a Twist
13. Cooking class at Sur la Table
14. Macaroon class at SugarRay's
15. Hiking at Arbor Hills or the like
16. Fort Worth museums
17. Run/walk a 5k
18. Try out one of many new exercise concepts
19. A coffee, gelato, or dessert date
20. See a show, concert or attend a book talk at the Dallas Museum of Art
Now it's your turn! Each of you creates a list of 10 activities that you would enjoy sharing with your spouse. Exchange lists, veto any absolute no-go's, compile the list and voila, you're ready to have fun together. To change your relationship, you have to change things up, be deliberate, get out of those comfy clothes! Couples therapy is about vulnerability, accountability and small changes leading to systemic change in your relationship.
About the author: Dr. Melissa Hudson has been a Plano licensed marriage and family therapist since 2012. She also helps those contending with anxiety and depression as well as families. Conveniently located near The Shops of Legacy, Dr. Hudson is convenient to Frisco, Richardson, Allen, McKinney, and The Colony. You can learn more about her work here.