Thursday, March 06, 2025 | By: Dr. Melissa Hudson, LMFT-Supervisor
When couples describe their struggles, stubbornness comes up a lot. One partner might say, “They just refuse to see my side,” while the other insists, “I’m not stubborn—I just know what I think!”
But stubbornness isn’t just a personality trait. More often, it’s a form of emotional reactivity—a response to discomfort, uncertainty, or perceived threat. It’s not just about being strong-willed; it’s about how someone regulates emotions in moments of conflict.
So what’s actually going on when a partner “digs in” during an argument?
At its core, stubbornness is a regulation issue—often a mix of fight (arguing and refusing to budge) and freeze (emotional rigidity). It also ties into differentiation—the ability to hold one’s own perspective without shutting down influence or connection.
Most people don’t recognize stubbornness as emotional reactivity. They just see it as an irritating trait. But when couples begin to understand the emotions driving it, something shifts—because suddenly, the “stubborn” partner isn’t just being difficult. They’re trying to feel safe.
And that’s where real change begins.
With the right tools and insight, your relationship can thrive. Dr. Melissa Hudson, a trusted relationship expert with 15 years of experience, helps couples across the DFW area, including Frisco, Plano, Allen, The Colony, and Flower Mound, TX. Recognized for her compassionate and evidence-based approach, she specializes in guiding couples to break harmful cycles, restore intimacy, and build lasting emotional connections.
Whether you’re facing specific challenges or looking to deepen your bond, Dr. Hudson’s transformative therapy can help you create the relationship you deserve. Learn more about her services here.